Last fall, I attended a coaching conference in Phoenix, with about 1000 (or more) mostly women. On the first day, the keynote speaker Brooke Castillo, who had two new Chanel purses with her, complete with beautiful boxes, on-stage from the first session, offered them to the large audience for $10. 

$10 for a multi-thousand dollar purse. 

Most of us stayed in our seats, confused, or letting our brains spin with all the reasons our brains offered us of why she did not mean us. 

"I don't have any cash on me." 

"This is a joke." 

"There's a larger lesson here...right?"

 "There are too many people between me and the stage." 

"I can't stand up and just ASK for a purse in front of all these people."

"I don't want to look greedy/materialistic/like I care about purses."

A few, however, stood up--borrowing cash from people in neighbor seats, offering to Venmo, etc. and the very fastest of those got Chanel purses…for $10. The entire gigantic hotel resort ballroom was electrified and staring at the stage in astonishment. Even the online attendees (who were also eligible for the purses) were furiously chatting messages we could see on the wall projector all amounting to: 

What. The Heck. Is Happening Right Now?!

Yes, some people acted faster than others, but at the rate the purses were claimed, there wasn't a single person in the audience who couldn't have claimed a purse if s/he had immediately believed it was available and meant for them. It hit me: I could have had a Chanel purse. For $10. All I had to do was ask (and in this case, claim it).

What opportunities are being presented to you every day that you are convinced are not for you? That you are closed to because of some sentence in your brain telling you that you can't. It's only true if you believe it!

What if everything was available to you--Chanel purses, travel, strong relationships, meaningful work, a beautiful garden, a cold drink on a hot day, a kind word? Decide that it is and let it outlast your doubt until you have it. Want some help figuring out how? Book a free discovery call with your favorite coach! I specialize in helping you tap into your own perfect wisdom to turn desires into decisions that activate and release your power. Let's goo!

But can it heal your whole life?!

Though it may seem corny or difficult to do at first (hence mirror WORK), each repetition helps you overcome your inner critic and plants the seeds of the habits of self-love, self-compassion, self-esteem, self-acceptance, and self-awareness, which are critical emotional regulation strategies. Like any practice, the more you do it, the easier and more powerful it becomes. According to Hay, self-love is the only strategy for healing EVERY problem. And all it takes is you, a mirror, and a journal and pen. What have you got to lose?

How do I get started? There is no "wrong" way to do mirror work if you're looking in the mirror and being kind to yourself. If you would like to evolve it as a practice though, try this:

• Set a timer to do your mirror work. Start with one minute, or even 30 seconds every day. Over time, you may increase to 5 or even 10 minutes a day.
• Stand in front of your mirror (or hold it in front of you) and look at yourself with compassion.
• Choose affirmations that are meaningful to you. Some of Louise Hay's greatest hits include:
• My life loves me./ I love my life.
• I am willing to change.
• I love who I am.
• Click for the daily affirmation on LouiseHay.com
• Do it every day, even when it feels weird or you feel resistance. Keep going!
• Ready to go next level? Get undressed and practice your mirror work gazing at your full, naked self. Let's go! 

Every time you make a choice in life and decide how and when to execute that decision, you are being creative. You don't have to have a gallery showing or be a preeminent tap dancer to be creative; you are creating all the time--your thoughts and perceptions, your experiences. When we inject that innate creativity with our experiences, emotions, or some piece of our authentic selves, it becomes self-expression, a way of saying to the world "This is who I am. I am here. I matter."

• self-awareness: noticing what we are feeling and being able to name it
  
• mindfulness: noticing and identifying aspects of the external world and our bodies in the present moment 
• energetic release: the intentional catharsis of emotion through movement or other deliberate activity
  
• cognitive reappraisal: the ability to shift thoughts about a situation by simply changing the perspective from which it is viewed
  
• adaptability: resourceful problem solving and pivoting when a problem or blockage is perceived
  
• self-compassion: understanding that we are worthy of love and treating ourselves with care and gentleness in the face of perceived mistakes or failures
  
• emotional support: creating a robust and resourced, supportive "community," that may consist of yourself and/or others that you connect with

This morning I listened to a podcast in which a lady who, upon immigrating to the U.S. at age 8 or 9 was given this very unambiguous directive by her parents "Perfect English with no accent like YESTERDAY!" Or however you say that in Mandarin. Now in her late 30s, this lady's English was definitely very good, but by her own assessment, the articulation still sounded very effortful, despite her years of cultural immersion, because she was still driven by the thought that it had to be perfect and artful, robbing it of the ability to ever be natural, which is to say: imperfect. "Tsk, tsk," I clucked, sympathetically. "She thinks she has to be perfect."

 

And then the aha! moment, that gleaming sliver of time when you get a chance to see inside your own fishbowl; when what you already know logically can be felt in your bones. Oh. *I'm* doing that. *I'm* showing up that way. The more I self-coach and examine my thoughts on purpose, the more evident and obvious it becomes that I'm creating everything in my life, including my sometimes stilted, topic-rambling, but lovingly and diligently crafted blog. I already knew this consciously; I review it daily, as a matter of fact. Thoughts create feelings, which drive actions, which create results. So even as I write this and you might be nodding your head along in agreement ("Sure, that seems reasonable..."), I don't necessarily expect any of you to scream "Eureka!" (but if you do, please email me and tell me; better yet, write me a review!)

 

 

It can be difficult to access gratitude when we receive criticism if we are disposed to thinking of it as evidence to support the most painful stories we have about ourselves, which in whatever form they take in our minds, usually amount to: I'm not enough

Thank you for noticing my worth and helping me finish strong!