When my kids were little, we used to love reading together on an ipad app called The Monster at the End of This Book starring the lovable Grover from Sesame Street, who is terrified to turn each page of the book knowing it is one page closer to the monster he has been told is at the end. The suspense builds as we turn page by page until the final page when Grover sees….[SCREAMS!] himself. Phew. That wasn’t so bad, was it?
Our clutter is much the same way. It’s lurking in places we perceive to be dark and terrifying, but if we simply gather our courage to open the door and look, it’s just our lovable selves showing us where some attention is needed. That’s all clutter is–unmade decisions, or accumulated unconscious ones–asking for our attention in this moment.
But how do we make a decision now that we’ve been agonizing over for days,weeks, months, or years? Fun fact: decisions don’t actually take a long time. They are made in an instant. We like to torture ourselves by thinking they should take forever, make them larger and weightier than they are–turn them into monsters, while we spin in our ruminating thoughts. We tell ourselves "I'm going to think about it," which sounds sage and mature, but what we really mean is "I'm going to suffer about it."
How do we escape the spin? We DECIDE that we will make a decision–and we do. Decisions are experiments that move us forward and help us refine ourselves as we learn and grow. This is exactly what happens in the scientific method, which incorporates fancy terms like hypothesis and analysis to elevate what it is, which is: guess and check. Try again.
Consider that, whatever your decision (your guess), it doesn’t define who you are forever. It's a vote for who you want to be right now--an experiment of identity. You may vote for being a person who eats chips for dinner one night this week, but if you find that experiment doesn't work in your favor, you can vote to be a person who eats differently every other day in the week. As in any election, the majority tally will determine the kind of person you actually are and elections come around with great regularity.
Take umbrage in the reality that no matter what you choose, you will still have a human experience that is 50% amazing and wonderful and 50% that might be uncomfortable and challenging. No decision is an off-ramp from the human experience of some good and some bad, so let yourself choose with confidence knowing that everything will go exactly as it is supposed to and you can keep experimenting until you do.
Picked a toothbrush you didn’t like at the store? Just pick a different one next time. Took a job you don’t love? You can do something else. Took a wrong turn? You can turn the car around and still get where you’re going. Made some mistakes? We all do; that’s how we learn. You don’t have to make it mean anything negative about yourself.
Here are two ideas for scheduling decisions about clutter–in your inbox, your closet, your kitchen counters, your junk drawer, your purse or backpack, your to-do list, your to-try list–RIGHT NOW!
- Set a timer and just GO! Organization expert Shira Gill’s 15 Minute Wins are a great way to tackle a small job and set yourself up for victory in a non-overwhelming amount of time. 15 minutes too much? Try 10 minutes or even 2! Showing up and honoring your commitment to yourself is what matters. If you can’t commit to working out, just put your gym clothes out every night and put them on at a designated time each day. Give yourself a win and keep going!
- Calendar It- Decide how long a task will take, put it on your calendar like an appointment, and obey your calendar. This blog post is an example of me doing just that!
You can do this. I believe in you!
Want more help making decisions or creating an action plan to get out of your head and get moving? 20 Minute coaching sessions for November are just $5! Book now to reserve your time.
P.S. You read the whole post and nothing jumped out to bite your leg...I hope. Phew! There really was no monster.
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