Wednesday, October 11, 2023
Writing a personal style statement or manifesto is a powerful step in deciding how you want to present yourself to the world with your clothes, but sometimes the quickest way to make big change in our wardrobe is by figuring out what we are NOT, which we can often feel viscerally. And yet, somehow those items that just don't get us at all love to loiter in our closets.
Here is a list of 5 categories to let go of immediately as you begin to reveal the current masterpiece that is you.
"Not Now" Clothes: These are the ones you're saving for “when your body is different”--smaller, fitter, surgically augmented, pregnant, etc. One of my mentors, Karen Kingston, said in her book Clear Your Clutter with Feng Shui that "what resists, persists." Love your now--the size and shape of the body you have, which does so much good work for you every day. Lavish some high quality fabrics that fit you beautifully on that perfectly wonderful body of yours and trust that if you need something in that "Not Now" category someday, you will be able to get it easily. IF you are still in child-bearing years and have reasonably short-term plans to need maternity clothes (or similar), choose your favorites and store them together in one, clear bin in your closet.
Imaginary Life Clothes Do you have clothes (and accessories!) for a special activity or hobby (skiing, painting, Marching Band, dinner with heads of state, Pickleball) that you have either never done, don't do now or haven't in a REALLY long time? Maybe some of these items still have the price tags on them. Create some space to grow into and be who you really want by letting go of these items. I promise you that when you get an invitation to a State dinner, you will be so excited to shop for the perfect outfit right then.
The SWAG Don't be like Michael Scott on this one. Unless you genuinely like and use/wear an item such as a race t-shirt, a hat, a frisbee, or any other freebie, don't let others' message create noise in the sanctity of your style lounge! Now I have some free chip clips I love and use, but now I have purged my free stuff, I have a policy of "just say no," when it comes to accepting them in the first place. Because purging is a LOT more work than not bringing it home at all.
"Expensive" Mistakes I get it. You spent what feels like a lot of money on something and now, although you don't really want to use or wear it, you get to use it as a talisman for making yourself feel tremendous amounts of guilt and disappointment every time you look at it. I mean why WOULDN'T you keep it? 😆 The thing is, despite your attachment to your story about how terrible and wasteful you are for having bought it...the money spent is in the past and is gone--. Isn't that a relief? Great! I bet someone else could enjoy this brand new item (or make it their own terrible mistake!). New things and energy--money! better-suited clothes!-- are always on the way to you, so you better make room. Donate that pricey wardrobe fail and move on with no regrets!
Gifts from Susie So-and-So You love Susie So-and-So and she loves you, but that chartreuse onesie she very lovingly got you for your birthday is just not your style. That does not negate the love you and Susie So-and-So share or her kindness in giving it to you. I mean, YOU have even made some expensive mistakes (see above) about yourself, but you are still a good person. Susie is still a good person. The value in the gift was sent and received the moment of the exchange; the burden of keeping it is not the gift. Someone else out there is just waiting for a chartreuse onesie; let them live into their dreams, too!
Wednesday, May 31, 2023
Okay, so you've decided to join in the 7 Day Clutter Clear Challenge (Cue the imaginary, biodegradable, non-mess-making confetti!) but you're still thinking: how do I get started? (and all the other thoughts: This is overwhelming. Can I doom scroll social media instead? I'm sleepy. My head hurts. I think I might be dying of mumps. I wonder what deals I can find on Amazon! Today would be a good day to learn how to can my own vegetables...)
1. Pick a Project
It doesn't matter what, but for maximum impact, pick something that you see/interact with a lot. You certainly could pick 3 square feet in the back left corner of an off-site storage unit, because you're the boss of you, but if you're not going there and living around that every day, the emotional impact from the satisfaction of completing it and now using it will be basically nothing.
Have you heard of Dave Ramsey's debt snowball where you pay off the tiniest debts first and then you gather so much momentum that you're a financial wizard before you know it? Same concept.
"So if I'm not organizing deep space...what are some ideas"? If you give yourself two clear minutes to think, you will either see or remember something that is not working optimally that would feel so good if it was just tidied or cleared. It could be a bathroom drawer that you can never find what you need in. It could be a pile of mail from yesterday or the last 10 years taking over your kitchen table. It could be your sock drawer, which seems to contain everything but socks. It could be your medicine cabinet or your roller skate collection. It could be even be "stuff within 10 feet of sofa." And if something doesn't come up that "feels right," just pick the first untidy pile you see and that's the one.
Pro tip: Take a before picture. Snap it quickly. You don't have to pour over it.
2. Fortify + Pump Yourself Up
Go to the bathroom, have a drink of water and/or a small snack on hand. Don't make this into a huge thing. You're only leaving Earth for 15 minutes or so, but tending to all these things ahead of time will calm your central nervous system and minimize your own need to talk yourself out of it. It reminds you that you're safe and your needs are being met. In addition to basic needs, consider also what else might make the task more enjoyable: is it listening to your feel-good music or a podcast or a book? What about working with a partner or a friend? Is it knowing that a hot bubble bath or a night out with friends awaits you after? Whatever will better doing this work, add it in. It's almost time to start, but speaking of time...
Now is a good time to decide how long you will spend on your clutter clear today. I recommend starting with 15 minutes, especially if you're just getting started. If you're just really in the groove after 15, you can always keep going. Just be careful not to exhaust yourself or burn yourself out to the point that you will excuse yourself from showing up tomorrow. Consistency is the goal and consistency just requires you repeatedly showing up for any amount of time. 30 minutes today is not the same as 15 minutes today and 15 minutes tomorrow. Tomorrow, you have fresh eyes that have been enjoying the fruits of today's labors. You are not the same you tomorrow as today. So set your timer for the amount of time you can easily, breezily do on your phone or your watch or your in-home robotic assistant, and it's go-time, baby!
3. Do the Thing + Have Feelings
Start sorting like with like or picking out the trash or items that don't belong (more on sorting order tomorrow). Just GO! If the task you've chosen is mail, you may spend the entire time chucking things into your recycling bin and trash (wheeee!) or maybe you're taking dishes back to the kitchen, or you're unearthing your sofa under clothes. Every step, every bit matters. Keep going. Thoughts will come up: fear and scarcity, tiredness and overwhelm. Acknowledge the thoughts and remind yourself you are safe and your needs are met and keep gooooooooing until your timer goes off. If you feel like 15 minutes was basically all you could live through, you're golden. You made it! You didn't die. (If you're really on a roll or almost finished and just want to get your last pair of socks beautifully jellyrolled, by all means go for it. Neither I nor your timer are the boss of you and I love a good clutter-clearing bender myself. Just remember to come back tomorrow!)
4. Celebrate!
Give yourself a big hug and a high five and thank yourself for doing
this kindness and act of service for future you. You're the best! Did you pick out a reward like a hot bath or a walk with a friend or your favorite show on Netflix? Please enjoy! And come back tomorrow to do it again. You're so great!
Pro Tip: Take a picture! Even if you didn't finish a space, you will be amazed when you compare your before with the after picture and knowing what took place in only 15 minutes.
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Tuesday, May 30, 2023
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The most important part of forming any habit is not having total mastery or dedicating your whole life and all your time to it, but consistency. A little bit, over and over. If you're ready to become a clutter-clearing ninja who keeps your space tidy and maintained with ease, making it a low-pressure part of your every day is going to be a game changer.
To kickstart your clutter-clearing habit and supercharge your summer, I'm hosting a 7-Day Clutter Clearing Challenge through my Facebook and Instagram channels (@marytallencoaching) starting on Saturday, June 3. The mission: show up for yourself by clearing a little bit of clutter (~15 minutes) every day for 7 days. That's it! You can work on small spaces or big spaces, your night stand or your closet or your car (or anywhere else). You can do more or not. You can document or not. Just show up for you, honor your commitment to yourself every single day for 7 days, and just get going!
If you would like to share your before/after photos, your triumphs, and your obstacles and get help where you're getting stuck, you can join my private Facebook group OR hashtag your public posts (Otherwise, I can't see them) with #june7dayclutterclear. I'll be checking posts, giving support and offering helpful tips every day June 3-9, 2023. Let's do this!
Clutter Clearing Challenge Explained!
Friday, May 26, 2023
It’s summertime (maybe not technically, but in Texas: it's heeeeere! And cooler climates--it soon will be) and to keep the living easy, here are a few simple, 15-ish minute projects to get you organized and ready to live your best life by the pool or in the hammock with essentials nearby.
Project 1: End-of-School Paper and Garbage
Dump
It happens every last day of school and yet it’s a stunning surprise every time. Your little darling arrives home for summer with enough worksheets and art work to paper the Great Wall of China. And gnawed pencils and Hot Cheetos-dusted pencil pouches. You vow to carefully scrutinize these items for anything valuable and salvage priceless quotables from free-writing exercises…when you have time. Soon, school is starting again and you either 1) push it all aside into a storage area to further clutter your space or 2) get so frustrated you throw it all away anyway. Take back your power and your summer and instead, do it now.
Step 1: Prep and Setting Limits
Before you get started, determine how much, if any, of your kids’ school and/or artwork you’re willing to keep. You can choose a specific number (5-10) or designate a small folder and that’s your limit. Put on something enjoyable to listen to: music or a podcast or an audiobook, get a small snack or drink to keep you energized, and set a timer for 15-20 minutes. Acknowledge that when the timer goes off, you are out of time for this project and will honor the commitment to yourself and your space to let go of anything still "unprocessed."
Step 2: Do the thing!
Go through the schoolwork quickly and decisively, remembering your commitment to yourself, and do not keep more than you decided ahead of time (folder full or quantity reached? One must go out before another comes in). When the timer goes off, let go of anything you have not gone through yet. Recycle paper and trash the trash and move on with your life.
Step 3: Speaking to Your Exceptions
“But, but, but…” Imagine I am looking you lovingly in the eyes and holding your hands as I say this: it’s okay to put it in the trash. I used to be the mom to agonize over the art work and the worksheets, wondering if not examining every piece of preciousness from the hand of my children meant I didn’t love them or was not a good mom. “And I have to salvage the $0.47 crayons that will join the pile of 12,427 more in the bin!” We have got to stop this, okay? School papers are neutral and have nothing to do with your parenting. They just exist and yesterday, you didn’t even know or remember that they did. Now you do and you’re having thoughts that make them mean something about your value as a person. A magnificent mom might throw every single paper away or might be stockpiling them for the apocalypse—it could really go either way. Agonizing over this question of your value as a parent is not useful here. Maybe this (or similar) thoughts, which are probably well within your reach, will feel better to you. “If I take care of this pile of papers now, I have more time (and space) to spend doing things I actually care about, including time with my kids.” Isn’t that actually true? Now do it and be free!
Project 2: Summer Beach Bag Prep and/or Detox
I love to be able to go to the lake or pool or
on an outdoor adventure at a moment’s notice, so I keep my summer “beach” bag
stockpiled with essentials like: sun screen, bug spray, pool or waterpark
season passes, a small pouch for change or money, a wet bag for wet things, and
a dry bag to keep things like my phone dry and within reach. Then I can just
grab a few beach towels and we’re off! (I keep my picnic blanket in my car's trunk.) The thing is, beach bags get janky like
all things get janky. While I am a stickler about immediately unpacking wet
swimsuits, extra clothes, or used towels, and most especially any food
immediately upon arriving home, sand happens. Use-by dates happen. All the seasons happen. Life
happens. And before I know it, I go to apply sunscreen only to wonder why I am
slathering cottage cheese on my tender little feet. No thank you. Whether you
keep these items in a beach or pool bag or elsewhere in your home, let’s do a
summer gear round-up!
Step 1: Locate every bug spray and sunscreen and related item in your house.
Check dates on them. Sun screen actually has pretty good shelf life (considering that if you’re applying it as directed--about 1 oz, you might well use ¼ a bottle in a single go). Sunscreens are required by the FDA to be effective at their original strength for at least three (3) years. Don’t have any idea when you bought it? Check for discoloration or inconsistency in texture and dispose of any that are off. In future, consider writing the date of purchase on the container if you tend to keep them awhile (I know; will any of us really do this? Still though, I’m putting it out there optimistically! Maybe you're a 1%er!). The shelf life for bug sprays is about the same amount of time and while they do not become harmful after 3 years, they do become less effective at repelling, so keeping them indefinitely is pointless and potentially itchy. After tossing any empty or expired items, consider replacing with only a single, high-quality favorite of each thing. I highly recommend checking the EWG’s Sunscreen Site and the EWG Bug Repellent Guide to find the best non-toxic products that will be effective for your family.
Note about EWG (Environmental Working Group) research and non-toxic products: I am ultra-selective when it comes to sunscreens also and have tried many alternatives, but ultimately use a commercial one because sunburn is a real bummer. I also make my own bug repellent from DoTerra's TerraShield essential oils, a
carrier oil, and purified water. You can google a recipe--or 1000-- for
it if you want to try right now. Non-toxicity is something I take veeeery seriously because of my own
experiences and misadventures with my health. While I think non-toxic is
better for everyone and the Earth and therefore recommend at least some casual research and awareness, I know the extreme level of
importance I place on it is not necessarily everyone's journey. Don't let perfect be the enemy of good and better! You do you!
Step 2: Clean Out Your Summer Stuff’s Home
If your summer items don’t have a designated “home,” like your beach bag or a bin in the entry way or medicine cabinet, establish one now. You will always know where to find (and put back!) your sunscreen, bug spray, and lip balm (and related items). Ahh, home.
If your items already have a designated home (or once you establish one), give it a good wipe down. Shake out sand and wipe down surfaces (or launder, if applicable). Get it really clean! I like to put my liquid items in a gallon-sized plastic zipper bag to catch any leaks on the go, but a washable, lined wet-bag would work great, too. Any other items that need laundering? Coin pouches, beach towels, etc—run them through the wash, too. Throw in your pool or park passes or other regular use pool items and you’re set.
Step 3: Stay Gold (Maintenance)
To maintain your new, breezy summer bag, simply unpack and clean out right away after every trip. It takes two minutes and you’ll be golden all summer long! In the words of Will Smith “If you stay ready, you ain’t gotta get ready.”
Project 3+: Bonus Round Summer Edit Honor Roll
On a roll and want to keep going? Don’t forget these other seasonal items that could probably use a little attention, editing and love. Do them all this way:
Gather all the items in a single category together from wherever they may be.
Designate a “home” for them and establish limits for the items and set a timer to limit the time you spend on the decisions.
Choose your favorites and best first, then discard any items that are simply not useful or loved by you/don’t fit the space (donation) or that are beyond repair or no longer function (trash).
Carefully clean and mend all the favorites that remain and put them in their space.
Suggested Seasonal Categories
You can do each line all at once or break them up into separate 15 minute categories. Only you make the rules!
Sunglasses, sun hats, swim suits, cover-ups
Folding chairs, coolers, picnic blankets, and beach umbrellas
Pool floats and toys, including goggles
Outdoor furniture and rugs
Pots and planters
Gardening tools, watering cans, pitchers
Monday, February 20, 2023
Thursday, February 16, 2023
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