For the most part, when I work with clients and exist out in the world, I try to keep my language as jargon-free as possible, as it often creates a belief barrier that an energetically-uplifting and intentional home is not for everyone. (It is absolutely for everyone and benefits all humanity.) It also can be a little bit of a bore, like you just want to watch the movie, not understand how every frame was shot. That said, I am a Feng Shui practitioner and my understanding of the environment is often viewed through the lens of the principles of that and having a shared lexicon makes it easier to navigate some of these deep dives together.

So as a starting point in bridging the gap between the ethereal Feng Shui masters of another dimension and your every day life, here is my take on a few terms of this discipline.

The ancient 5 element cycle used throughout the branches of Traditional Chinese Medicine to understand the flow of energy can be identified in everything you are, and everything you see, experience, and create in the universe. Each element has recognizable properties that can be applied to our unique needs and desires in ways that completely shift the flow of energy and light up our lives!

When we're feeling depleted, lonely, stuck, dull, disconnected, foggy in our brains and bodies...nature always has a solution. In this 22 min video, I'm talking about how to enlist the nourishing, fortifying support of nature--via the 5 Elements-- to lean into the life on your own terms, according to what your body really needs, with resilience and clarity for all. 

When it comes to your clothes: what to wear, what to buy, what to let go--how would you like a simple rallying phrase that:

• clarifies your decisions
• prioritizes your values
• leans into your goals and aspirations
• gives it your personal touch

Friends, this magic phrase is your Style Manifesto. In other posts and videos, I have called it an Intention or a Theme. These are all basically words for a consciously-crafted skeleton on which you hang the stuff of your dreams so they take shape.

There is no one way to write a manifesto and you could literally write a whole book or pamphlet outlining yours (see: every modern political candidate ever). But just in case you don't want this project to take over your entire life, here is one simple method for easily crafting one that is flexible and creative and do-able in a matter of minutes.

Materials needed (now it's a craft! Whee!)

• notepad and/or Post-Its (the more colorful, the funner!)
• pen or markers (funner option)
• Optional addition: Notes App on your phone
  

Now, choose 5 words or phrases that represent your voice, your goals, your current life (function, needs), your communication style, and finally: the IT factor that distinguishes your outfits from anyone else's.

If that kind of freeform, limitless thinking is too wildly obtuse of an order, write these five questions down on a piece of paper and answer them with any words that come to mind. As you do this, keep your favorite outfit or top three favorites in your mind. Consider how you feel and what you are expressing when you wear them.

1. What is one outstanding characteristic you already possess and want to continue to grow or encourage?

How does that look in clothes? I choose all my clothes in cheerful, bright colors (red, yellow, navy, and grass green) and look for whimsical, light-hearted details (ruffled hems and bows) and patterns--stripes and polka dots that are always looking on the bright side of life!
 

2. What is a characteristic of a look, an ideal, or in fashion that is something you aspire to?

My word: POLISHED

How does that look in clothes? I love tailored, well-shaped clothes and classic silhouettes in natural materials like cotton, wool, and leather. I like clothes to coordinate seamlessly and intentionally, but not be excessively matchy. I do not like anything that is ripped, unfinished, stained, excessively faded, or shapeless (even if intentionally done and trendy). That said, I am not always as put together as I'd like to be and my hair is often a bit messy. So...it's an aspiration.

3. Instant Recognition: What word is the instantly recognizable inspirational touchstone for every outfit you create?

My phrase:FUNCTIONAL WHIMSY

How does that look in clothes? Comfy, interchangeable, very practical and high quality pieces with fun colors and details that maybe don't look like everyone else, but that feel great to live in and exude my joy and high energy.

4. What word best communicates your current lifestyle?

My word: UNLIMITED

5. What word or phrase best summarizes the overall aesthetic of your signature style?

My phrase: PLAYFUL CHIC

As you can see, I think there is actually a lot of overlap in my phrases and words and most of the pictures I used for one could easily be used for another, but as I thought through each question, I kept seeing my same favorites over and over and these were the characteristics of those items I love to wear that feel so true to me. 

You have your words, now what?

After you come up with your 5 words or phrases, write them down on Post-Its and put them in your closet or wherever you get dressed each day as a reminder and see if the clothes you pick out align with what you wrote. You can also put them in a note on your phone to reference when you are out shopping and before you put that impulse buy in your cart.

If you did this exercise and you don't feel like you got the words quite right, you have infinite opportunities to try again--change out one word or another and tweak it until you get just the right fit! Happy manifesting!

Probably the question(s) I get asked the most about clutter-clearing basically boil down to "How can I get everyone I live with to be different so I can feel better?" But that's me boiling it down. When it's your life, it's hard to see that getting your husband to "just get rid of all his stuff already!" or getting your kids to "stop hoarding and bringing home every piece of glitter!" is about you trying to create a circumstance in which you can FINALLY feel at ease. Believe me, I get it. I have been there. A lot. A LOT. And sometimes I still go there before I remember that: this is a me problem. "Duh, Mary. I want them to know it's a them problem." The thing is: your husband (or child or grandmother or mother-in-law) probably feels a lot more okay with the situation than you do or they would be doing something different. "Duh, Mary. I want them to be different..."

Ah yes, if you could just control everyone and make them be different than they are.

When your emotional well-being is dependent upon how others act and show up, you're not only giving all your power away to them, you're also in for quite the roller coaster because the only thing other people are very predictable about is: being themselves, which is to say they're not good at being you or following the manual you have written in your head (but most likely have not told them about) about how they should think, act, and feel.  And when you argue with the reality of who they are: it's you who suffers. Again. Still. More.

Want to feel better? Start by asking yourself:  how do I want to think, act, and feel?

Even if no one in your life ever changes, YOU are the only star in the movie of your life and you are under your own direction. You can decide how you will show up, act, and react in every scene of it. Yes, I'll say it again: even if no one else ever changes. Here are a couple of ideas for getting started...

1. Do your own work first. 

 If you are asking someone to do something you're unwilling to do yourself, why on earth would they believe it's a solid choice? Though you may have already cleared your physical clutter, your thoughts about others' clutter is a good indication that you have some beliefs that need some work. Why are you feeling disgusted? Frustrated? Angry? Abandoned? What thought is creating this feeling? 

Oh, have you not already cleared your own clutter? Well then...

2. Lead by example! 

It could be that others are just waiting for you to show them how it's done, that it can be done, and how beautiful it all looks when it is done. Be the change!

Three more ideas for reclaiming your power when working with other people are in my Friday newsletter coming out in two days. If you're not signed up...be sure to subscribe now!

Helping yourself and living an intentional life relies on learning to manage your higher brain and making effective decisions from that place. There are times, however, when the presence of a stressor (bear or active shooter, for example) causes our body to physiologically hijack our brains and render them useless for any effective long-term decision making.

What is happening? This is emotional disregulation.

Emotional Disregulation Explained

Emotional disregulation occurs when fear or upset has cognitively impaired us, but what does it really mean? All the sayings used to describe it-- "wigging out," "checking out," and "going offline"--are a key to what's physiologically happening. To be disregulated means that our autonomic nervous system (ANS), which is the body system responsible for our safety on an unconscious level is no longer regulated by our thinking brain. It has taken over and the pre-frontal cortex, the bus driver and CEO of our effective decisions, has left the building.

Leaving the Zone of Safety 

Our autonomic nervous system does not know the difference between a real threat (swarm of killer bees on your face) and a perceived one (single honeybee on a nearby flower), but the regulating space between the stressor and the high alert response of the ANS, in which we can evaluate the threat level, is our personal zone of safety. Basic self-care habits (rest, movement, nutrition, hydration, deep breathing) increase the size of our zone of safety, but it is also impacted by things like trauma, illness or other physical impairment, and unprocessed emotion. To be disregulated means that you are out of your zone of safety and you are now in in fight, flight, or freeze (and some schools of thought add: fawn). This is great news when you're being chased by a lion. Your body takes over and you get the heck out of there (or fight it). If all goes well, the lion situation gets cleared up and your body resumes normal higher-level thinking capabilities. When it gets stuck in disregulation, however, and doesn't know the way back home, this is when trauma occurs.

When it's time to call in the lifeboats, try this simple technique to get regulated (or help someone else regulate) in real time.

Step 1: Establish safety: (Ask yourself or the other person) Am I (are you) safe right now? If no, there is no reason to down-regulate. Move to safety! If yes (probably yes), say aloud to yourself "I am safe right now."

Step 2: Do I feel safe? (Ask yourself or the other person)  If you are still disregulated, the answer is almost certainly no. But while the brain can go to the past (flashbacks) or the future (what ifs), the body is always in the present. It's time to drop into the body.

Step 3: Acutely relax the body As a woman who gets her hackles up when ordered to "relax," or "smile!," I want to assure you that this is a do-able exercise and meant for your well-being. As you slowly take deep breaths, scan your body for tension. Bending forward and letting your body dangle as you do this, you will quickly return to your body. Repeat as needed.

Have you ever researched a car to buy and suddenly start seeing it everywhere? Have you ever been in a noisy crowd of people where nothing seems audible until you hear your own name clear as a bell? This is your brain's Reticular Activating System at work, charged with filtering out the unimportant stuff so you can notice what is important--or what you think is important at the time. Some of these filters are based on survival instinct (food=good!), but others have come about from beliefs you may not even realize you have (always looking for an exit because you have a belief about being trapped, for example). 

Exciting news! You can intentionally program the RAS to seek and find evidence of anything that you want! In the example of the titular game "Looking for Hearts," which I learned about from author/speaker Mel Robbins, one simply decides to look for heart shapes in the world wherever they go and begins to find them--in clouds, in rock formations, in imprints on toast, or in a reflection off the person-near-you's hair.  

When you give your brain a job, it goes to work faithfully for what you have told it is important.

But after a time, maybe your brain notices that hearts aren't actually that big of a deal to you because you can't eat them or they're just not really getting you out of the bed in the morning and that's okay! If you want them to be a priority to you, just leave a reminder to keep looking for them. Keep re-deciding to keep telling your brain they are important.

OR...pick something that actually matters deeply to you, but is not looking the way you want: your romantic partnership, your business's success, your connection with your kids, your home environment. Put your brain on the job of finding the good and beautiful in one of these areas. The more you decide to look for it, the more you will find. The more attention you give it, the more you will create examples of it through your own connectedness and loving attention. 

You create more of what you focus on.

That ALSO means...if you're determined to find evidence of negativity, frustration, disharmony, hostility, resentment, etc, you can do that, too. Does it feel good to you to focus on those things? Probably not. You don't have to convince yourself that you love things you don't love; your mind will not believe this at all! Just slowly, intentionally, consciously: look for the good and hopeful and bright. 

Look for the hearts! They're everywhere. You'll see.

Last fall, I attended a coaching conference in Phoenix, with about 1000 (or more) mostly women. On the first day, the keynote speaker Brooke Castillo, who had two new Chanel purses with her, complete with beautiful boxes, on-stage from the first session, offered them to the large audience for $10. 

$10 for a multi-thousand dollar purse. 

Most of us stayed in our seats, confused, or letting our brains spin with all the reasons our brains offered us of why she did not mean us. 

"I don't have any cash on me." 

"This is a joke." 

"There's a larger lesson here...right?"

 "There are too many people between me and the stage." 

"I can't stand up and just ASK for a purse in front of all these people."

"I don't want to look greedy/materialistic/like I care about purses."

A few, however, stood up--borrowing cash from people in neighbor seats, offering to Venmo, etc. and the very fastest of those got Chanel purses…for $10. The entire gigantic hotel resort ballroom was electrified and staring at the stage in astonishment. Even the online attendees (who were also eligible for the purses) were furiously chatting messages we could see on the wall projector all amounting to: 

What. The Heck. Is Happening Right Now?!

Yes, some people acted faster than others, but at the rate the purses were claimed, there wasn't a single person in the audience who couldn't have claimed a purse if s/he had immediately believed it was available and meant for them. It hit me: I could have had a Chanel purse. For $10. All I had to do was ask (and in this case, claim it).

What opportunities are being presented to you every day that you are convinced are not for you? That you are closed to because of some sentence in your brain telling you that you can't. It's only true if you believe it!

What if everything was available to you--Chanel purses, travel, strong relationships, meaningful work, a beautiful garden, a cold drink on a hot day, a kind word? Decide that it is and let it outlast your doubt until you have it. Want some help figuring out how? Book a free discovery call with your favorite coach! I specialize in helping you tap into your own perfect wisdom to turn desires into decisions that activate and release your power. Let's goo!

The "5 Kind of Things" clutter-clearing strategy, as presented in author KC Davis's book How To Keep House While Drowning is one of my favorite methods for taking action in a space because it removes anxiety about what to do next by providing clear direction for staying in flow, virtually eliminating decision fatigue. My 5 Things Method for Travel will keep your journey-weary brain and body systematically moving until the hot shower and Netflix-binge at the end, which you can enjoy without having to step over your suitcase!

Ideally, you will utilize the 5 Things Method to completely unpack and settle in immediately upon arriving home. However, the beauty of this method is that it smartly prioritizes your must-do tasks so that even if you just tackle one category right away, you've taken care of the most pressing/bulkiest tasks before taking on anything else. Just follow the yellow brick road! (Indulge me; I've been overusing the Wizard of Oz metaphors since my high school graduation speech.)

1. Take everything out of your car, then each bag and suitcase and sort into these categories:
   

2. Perishables and Trash: Empty that pic-a-nic basket, BooBoo! Get your souvenir pralines (and anything that melts) out of the sun and away from your “Beach Life” tee. Receipts, lint, bag tags, boiling hot slushies

3. Clothing and Personal Care Items: Dirty clothes to the laundry room (and start a load, if possible) Put away everyday use items: medications, glasses, hair brush, make-up, shoes, accessories, chargers/tech, and any clean clothes next. Traveling with multiple people? Do this at the same time for max laundry efficiency

4. Non-Travel Items:  These are the items that do not need to live in your suitcase beyond this trip. This could include souvenirs, work business, and anything else that came home with you. If you know where it goes, put it away. If it’s new, find it a permanent home. If this part feels interminable and slows you down, designate one HIGHLY-VISIBLE space of a counter, preferably in a contained bin to put anything you don’t have a place for yet. If you don’t clear it within a specific time (one day? 72 hours? A week?), resolve to discard it appropriately at that time. Move on to number 5.

5. Travel Items:  Refill any empty travel bottles and creams and replace razors so you can re-pack them and be ready quickly for the next trip. Out of something?  Add it to your online grocery or amazon cart for the next order. Repack your replenished travel toiletries. Put your packing cubes, garment bags, and any other travel-specific items back into your suitcase. Wipe down your suitcase and inspect for any damage before putting it away. Bonus: Re-stock your car with travel essentials—wipes or napkins, utensils, band-aids, hair ties, dental floss, etc. Super mega bonus: vacuum and wash your car.

   This 5 Things for Travel method was recently featured in my Help Yourself! weekly newsletter, along with other simple tips for easily re-integrating into your life and home after a trip. Subscribe here to get that great content delivered straight to your inbox.
   

   If you want to learn more about the original "5 Things" method, check out my FBWatch video where I explain what it is and how to use it to clear any space of clutter:

   Do you want to go beyond unpacking, reorganize the universe in your favor, and get personalized understanding and ideas of how to create the most intentional environments to live and work in? I can help you! Book a free consult call with me.
   

   
   

Okay, so you've decided to join in the 7 Day Clutter Clear Challenge (Cue the imaginary, biodegradable, non-mess-making confetti!) but you're still thinking: how do I get started? (and all the other thoughts: This is overwhelming. Can I doom scroll social media instead? I'm sleepy. My head hurts. I think I might be dying of mumps. I wonder what deals I can find on Amazon! Today would be a good day to learn how to can my own vegetables...)

1. Pick a Project

It doesn't matter what, but for maximum impact, pick something that you see/interact with a lot. You certainly could pick 3 square feet in the back left corner of an off-site storage unit, because you're the boss of you, but if you're not going there and living around that every day, the emotional impact from the satisfaction of completing it and now using it will be basically nothing. 

Have you heard of Dave Ramsey's debt snowball where you pay off the tiniest debts first and then you gather so much momentum that you're a financial wizard before you know it? Same concept.

"So if I'm not organizing deep space...what are some ideas"? If you give yourself two clear minutes to think, you will either see or remember something that is not working optimally that would feel so good if it was just tidied or cleared. It could be a bathroom drawer that you can never find what you need in. It could be a pile of mail from yesterday or the last 10 years taking over your kitchen table. It could be your sock drawer, which seems to contain everything but socks. It could be your medicine cabinet or your roller skate collection. It could be even be "stuff within 10 feet of sofa." And if something doesn't come up that "feels right," just pick the first untidy pile you see and that's the one. 

Pro tip: Take a before picture. Snap it quickly. You don't have to pour over it.

2. Fortify + Pump Yourself Up

Go to the bathroom, have a drink of water and/or a small snack on hand. Don't make this into a huge thing. You're only leaving Earth for 15 minutes or so, but tending to all these things ahead of time will calm your central nervous system and minimize your own need to talk yourself out of it. It reminds you that you're safe and your needs are being met. In addition to basic needs, consider also what else might make the task more enjoyable: is it listening to your feel-good music or a podcast or a book? What about working with a partner or a friend? Is it knowing that a hot bubble bath or a night out with friends awaits you after? Whatever will better doing this work, add it in. It's almost time to start, but speaking of time...

Now is a good time to decide how long you will spend on your clutter clear today. I recommend starting with 15 minutes, especially if you're just getting started. If you're just really in the groove after 15, you can always keep going. Just be careful not to exhaust yourself or burn yourself out to the point that you will excuse yourself from showing up tomorrow. Consistency is the goal and consistency just requires you repeatedly showing up for any amount of time. 30 minutes today is not the same as 15 minutes today and 15 minutes tomorrow. Tomorrow, you have fresh eyes that have been enjoying the fruits of today's labors. You are not the same you tomorrow as today. So set your timer for the amount of time you can easily, breezily do on your phone or your watch or your in-home robotic assistant, and it's go-time, baby!

3. Do the Thing + Have Feelings

Start sorting like with like or picking out the trash or items that don't belong (more on sorting order tomorrow). Just GO! If the task you've chosen is mail, you may spend the entire time chucking things into your recycling bin and trash (wheeee!) or maybe you're taking dishes back to the kitchen, or you're unearthing your sofa under clothes. Every step, every bit matters. Keep going. Thoughts will come up: fear and scarcity, tiredness and overwhelm. Acknowledge the thoughts and remind yourself you are safe and your needs are met and keep gooooooooing until your timer goes off.  If you feel like 15 minutes was basically all you could live through, you're golden. You made it! You didn't die. (If you're really on a roll or almost finished and just want to get your last pair of socks beautifully jellyrolled, by all means go for it. Neither I nor your timer are the boss of you and I love a good clutter-clearing bender myself. Just remember to come back tomorrow!)

4. Celebrate!

Give yourself a big hug and a high five and thank yourself for doing this kindness and act of service for future you. You're the best! Did you pick out a reward like a hot bath or a walk with a friend or your favorite show on Netflix? Please enjoy! And come back tomorrow to do it again. You're so great!

Pro Tip: Take a picture! Even if you didn't finish a space, you will be amazed when you compare your before with the after picture and knowing what took place in only 15 minutes. 

The most important part of forming any habit is not having total mastery or dedicating your whole life and all your time to it, but consistency. A little bit, over and over. If you're ready to become a clutter-clearing ninja who keeps your space tidy and maintained with ease, making it a low-pressure part of your every day is going to be a game changer.

To kickstart your clutter-clearing habit and supercharge your summer, I'm hosting a 7-Day Clutter Clearing Challenge through my Facebook and Instagram channels (@marytallencoaching) starting on Saturday, June 3.  The mission: show up for yourself by clearing a little bit of clutter (~15 minutes) every day for 7 days. That's it! You can work on small spaces or big spaces, your night stand or your closet or your car (or anywhere else). You can do more or not. You can document or not. Just show up for you, honor your commitment to yourself every single day for 7 days, and just get going!

If you would like to share your before/after photos, your triumphs, and your obstacles and get help where you're getting stuck, you can join my private Facebook group OR hashtag your public posts (Otherwise, I can't see them) with #june7dayclutterclear. I'll be checking posts, giving support and offering helpful tips every day June 3-9, 2023. Let's do this!

Clutter Clearing Challenge Explained!

It’s summertime (maybe not technically, but in Texas: it's heeeeere! And cooler climates--it soon will be) and to keep the living easy, here are a few simple, 15-ish minute projects to get you organized and ready to live your best life by the pool or in the hammock with essentials nearby.

Project 1: End-of-School Paper and Garbage Dump

It happens every last day of school and yet it’s a stunning surprise every time. Your little darling arrives home for summer with enough worksheets and art work to paper the Great Wall of China. And gnawed pencils and Hot Cheetos-dusted pencil pouches. You vow to carefully scrutinize these items for anything valuable and salvage priceless quotables from free-writing exercises…when you have time. Soon, school is starting again and you either 1) push it all aside into a storage area to further clutter your space or 2) get so frustrated you throw it all away anyway. Take back your power and your summer and instead, do it now.  

Step 1: Prep and Setting Limits 

Before you get started, determine how much, if any, of your kids’ school and/or artwork you’re willing to keep. You can choose a specific number (5-10) or designate a small folder and that’s your limit. Put on something enjoyable to listen to: music or a podcast or an audiobook, get a small snack or drink to keep you energized, and set a timer for 15-20 minutes.  Acknowledge that when the timer goes off, you are out of time for this project and will honor the commitment to yourself and your space to let go of anything still "unprocessed."

Step 2: Do the thing!

Go through the schoolwork quickly and decisively, remembering your commitment to yourself, and do not keep more than you decided ahead of time (folder full or quantity reached? One must go out before another comes in). When the timer goes off, let go of anything you have not gone through yet. Recycle paper and trash the trash and move on with your life.  

Step 3: Speaking to Your Exceptions 

“But, but, but…” Imagine I am looking you lovingly in the eyes and holding your hands as I say this: it’s okay to put it in the trash. I used to be the mom to agonize over the art work and the worksheets, wondering if not examining every piece of preciousness from the hand of my children meant I didn’t love them or was not a good mom. “And I have to salvage the $0.47 crayons that will join the pile of 12,427 more in the bin!” We have got to stop this, okay? School papers are neutral and have nothing to do with your parenting. They just exist and yesterday, you didn’t even know or remember that they did. Now you do and you’re having thoughts that make them mean something about your value as a person. A magnificent mom might throw every single paper away or might be stockpiling them for the apocalypse—it could really go either way.  Agonizing over this question of your value as a parent is not useful here. Maybe this (or similar) thoughts, which are probably well within your reach, will feel better to you. “If I take care of this pile of papers now, I have more time (and space) to spend doing things I actually care about, including time with my kids.” Isn’t that actually true? Now do it and be free! 

 Project 2: Summer Beach Bag Prep and/or Detox

I love to be able to go to the lake or pool or on an outdoor adventure at a moment’s notice, so I keep my summer “beach” bag stockpiled with essentials like: sun screen, bug spray, pool or waterpark season passes, a small pouch for change or money, a wet bag for wet things, and a dry bag to keep things like my phone dry and within reach. Then I can just grab a few beach towels and we’re off! (I keep my picnic blanket in my car's trunk.) The thing is, beach bags get janky like all things get janky. While I am a stickler about immediately unpacking wet swimsuits, extra clothes, or used towels, and most especially any food immediately upon arriving home, sand happens. Use-by dates happen. All the seasons happen. Life happens. And before I know it, I go to apply sunscreen only to wonder why I am slathering cottage cheese on my tender little feet. No thank you. Whether you keep these items in a beach or pool bag or elsewhere in your home, let’s do a summer gear round-up!

Step 1: Locate every bug spray and sunscreen and related item in your house. 

Check dates on them.  Sun screen actually has pretty good shelf life (considering that if you’re applying it as directed--about 1 oz, you might well use ¼ a bottle in a single go). Sunscreens are required by the FDA to be effective at their original strength for at least three (3) years. Don’t have any idea when you bought it?  Check for discoloration or inconsistency in texture and dispose of any that are off. In future, consider writing the date of purchase on the container if you tend to keep them awhile (I know; will any of us really do this? Still though, I’m putting it out there optimistically! Maybe you're a 1%er!). The shelf life for bug sprays is about the same amount of time and while they do not become harmful after 3 years, they do become less effective at repelling, so keeping them indefinitely is pointless and potentially itchy. After tossing any empty or expired items, consider replacing with only a single, high-quality favorite of each thing. I highly recommend checking the EWG’s Sunscreen Site and the EWG Bug Repellent Guide to find the best non-toxic products that will be effective for your family.  

Note about EWG (Environmental Working Group) research and non-toxic products: I am ultra-selective when it comes to sunscreens also and have tried many alternatives, but ultimately use a commercial one because sunburn is a real bummer. I also make my own bug repellent from DoTerra's TerraShield essential oils, a carrier oil, and purified water. You can google a recipe--or 1000-- for it if you want to try right now. Non-toxicity is something I take veeeery seriously because of my own experiences and misadventures with my health. While I think non-toxic is better for everyone and the Earth and therefore recommend at least some casual research and awareness, I know the extreme level of importance I place on it is not necessarily everyone's journey. Don't let perfect be the enemy of good and better! You do you!

Step 2: Clean Out Your Summer Stuff’s Home 

If your summer items don’t have a designated “home,” like your beach bag or a bin in the entry way or medicine cabinet, establish one now. You will always know where to find (and put back!) your sunscreen, bug spray, and lip balm (and related items). Ahh, home.

If your items already have a designated home (or once you establish one), give it a good wipe down. Shake out sand and wipe down surfaces (or launder, if applicable). Get it really clean! I like to put my liquid items in a gallon-sized plastic zipper bag to catch any leaks on the go, but a washable, lined wet-bag would work great, too. Any other items that need laundering? Coin pouches, beach towels, etc—run them through the wash, too. Throw in your pool or park passes or other regular use pool items and you’re set.

Step 3: Stay Gold (Maintenance)

To maintain your new, breezy summer bag, simply unpack and clean out right away after every trip. It takes two minutes and you’ll be golden all summer long! In the words of Will Smith “If you stay ready, you ain’t gotta get ready.”

Project 3+: Bonus Round Summer Edit Honor Roll

On a roll and want to keep going? Don’t forget these other seasonal items that could probably use a little attention, editing and love. Do them all this way: 

1. Gather all the items in a single category together from wherever they may be. 

2. Designate a “home” for them and establish limits for the items and set a timer to limit the time you spend on the decisions.
   

3. Choose your favorites and best first, then discard any items that are simply not useful or loved by you/don’t fit the space (donation)  or that are beyond repair or no longer function (trash). 

4. Carefully clean and mend all the favorites that remain and put them in their space.
   

Suggested Seasonal Categories 

You can do each line all at once or break them up into separate 15 minute categories. Only you make the rules!

• Sunglasses, sun hats, swim suits, cover-ups

• Folding chairs, coolers, picnic blankets, and beach umbrellas 

• Pool floats and toys, including goggles

• Outdoor furniture and rugs

• Pots and planters 

• Gardening tools, watering cans, pitchers

Quiz Time!

How do you feel when you think about the cords and electronics in your house?

A. We don't talk about Bruno.

B.  No. No. No.

C. We don't talk about Bruno!

D. Never should have brought up Bruno!

E. Neutral

F. Energized

G. Peaceful

Most of us mortals fall somewhere between A and D (or A through D). As technology becomes obsolete ever more quickly and we adapt our lives to "how things are now," setting time aside to organize and untangle our electronic lives can feel hard, overwhelming, confusing, and therefore at the bottom of our priority list. But I want to tell you why that it's exactly BECAUSE you feel these ways that you want to move such activities to the top of your list, at least the top of your non-life threatening list. Sorry Future-Me, that's going to be your problem.

Our homes are constantly reinforcing our beliefs about ourselves, even (especially) subconsciously when we're trying not to look. Every time we see (even without looking) the tangled cord mess, our energy dips a little and dips like that throughout your home add up to a whole lot of tired (and overwhelm).  That sounds like a Now-Me Problem. And since I love both Now-Me and Future-Me (and Past-Me, too. XOXO.) and I am totally in charge of how I feel, I want to make both of our lives better. And Future-Me is going to slay because of how much I am hooking her up right now, amirite?!

I'm not going to spend too much time trying to convince you to slay the dragon though because you will when you're ready (I can coach you if you think you'll never be ready! You're already here, aren't you?!). I want to talk about HOW to slay the dragon. Until you are ready and your thoughts align, the How is kind of irrelevant, BUT I want you to know how easy it is. So let's go!

First, decide on the space you want to work on. 

I love and appreciate that the KonMari method says bring it all out of every nook and cranny at once and have done with it, but some of us have to go to the dentist or pick our kid up from school or do anything except devote the next however endlessly long to clear all electronic and cord clutter in our house. You know your space and time best, so set your project parameters: e.g. "TV Cabinet area," or "Home office," or even more specific "Home office computer area." 

Set Your Intention. 

You don't have to bring in divine guidance for this task (unless you want to, in which case: great idea!), but take a minute to determine your goal for the area beyond "Please God, not this." One helpful way to do this is to take pictures of your cord situation. This is especially helpful if it's semi-hidden or difficult to get to. It will give you a better idea of your space and what will help the most.

For example, do you have white walls and black cords going in every direction you don't want to see anymore? Do you have things plugged in to inconveniently located outlets that could be moved? Do you have overloaded outlets? Is everything tangled? Do you even know what everything is and you'd like to know at a glance what you're unplugging? Consider where your pain points are. If all of them, don't worry; it will become more clear as you go. If it's obvious and you want to order some cord management products (cord labels, cord hiding wall kit to match paint, cable sleeves, velcro ties, etc.) ahead of time, go ahead. But be careful to order just what you need so the returns don't become another hassle. If you don't know, just wait, little chickadee. That is coming.

I also recommend taking pictures of the backs of devices where everything is connected so that you know for sure which cord plugs into what once everything is ready to go back in place. Take it from me; it's a bummer to realize you have no idea once everything is disconnected.

Editing, then Organizing (Fun part?)

Do not organize before you edit, unless you love wasting your time. Why neatly coil and label a cable you don't want or need? Just sayin'.

• Take everything out.

  Unplug cords from outlets, pull all devices and cords out (be safe! you may need help if you are moving something large like a tv).  Detangle and separate cords from one another. Group into piles of similar items. This will help you identify when you have multiples, as well as knowing what everything is.
  
  

• Weed out the duds.

  Did you, as I did, have a cord plugged into the outlet and absolutely nothing else? Were there miles of coaxial cables for days with no apparent destination? Are some of the cables broken, frayed, or known to be useless? Put all these in a big satisfying pile to toss. Is anything completely random (that belongs in another space) up there--no judgment here; note the karaoke microphone in my before pics above. Make a pile of items to rehome or take them to their place as you go.
  
  

• Wipe everything down

  (can be as you go): the devices, the cords, the space with a microfiber cloth to catch dust and follow with a magic eraser, or spray cleaner, as needed to remove additional gunk and goo. Ahhh, doesn't that feel better.
  
  

• Stage and Set-Up Your Space

  It may be helpful to have some additional muscle on hand once again to help you re-arrange as you work. Put all the major devices back where they go (or you now want them to) nearest the outlet that makes the most sense. Are your cords too long (most likely) or too short? Do you have enough outlets? Do you need a power strip or a cord cover to make your dreams come true? If you have the organizing products you need (could be as simple as twist ties or rubber bands to bundle too-long cords)?
  
  Plug everything in where it goes and add cord management solutions as you go keeping cords taut, smooth, and bound together or coiled, as needed.  Every situation requires a little something different, but I have made an Amazon list of some basic cord management products I have personally used with comments about their uses to assist you. Need more ideas, visit TheContainerStore.com and search "cord management."

Elevate and Celebrate! 

Want to add that little something extra to your space? What about some cute baskets to hold your video games and remotes? Or maybe a cute little potted plant? Add 1-3 special items that make the space feel extra personal and homey. Take an after picture. Send it to your bestie or post it on social media (or send it to me! I am so proud of you!). Do a little victory dance. I bet it feels good.

But can it heal your whole life?!

Though it may seem corny or difficult to do at first (hence mirror WORK), each repetition helps you overcome your inner critic and plants the seeds of the habits of self-love, self-compassion, self-esteem, self-acceptance, and self-awareness, which are critical emotional regulation strategies. Like any practice, the more you do it, the easier and more powerful it becomes. According to Hay, self-love is the only strategy for healing EVERY problem. And all it takes is you, a mirror, and a journal and pen. What have you got to lose?

How do I get started? There is no "wrong" way to do mirror work if you're looking in the mirror and being kind to yourself. If you would like to evolve it as a practice though, try this:

• Set a timer to do your mirror work. Start with one minute, or even 30 seconds every day. Over time, you may increase to 5 or even 10 minutes a day.
• Stand in front of your mirror (or hold it in front of you) and look at yourself with compassion.
• Choose affirmations that are meaningful to you. Some of Louise Hay's greatest hits include:
• My life loves me./ I love my life.
• I am willing to change.
• I love who I am.
• Click for the daily affirmation on LouiseHay.com
• Do it every day, even when it feels weird or you feel resistance. Keep going!
• Ready to go next level? Get undressed and practice your mirror work gazing at your full, naked self. Let's go! 

I grew up in a small town with a historic movie theater built in the 1920s and the projector there wasn't much newer, meaning that occasionally there would be unintentional intermissions during the show because a light bulb exploded or the film reel was stuck or broken or put in upside down, or in one memorable instance, loaded in the wrong order. I believe this theater now has modern trappings of the digital age, but in the free-wheeling 80s and 90s, going to the movies was its own adventure, never mind the feature!

The first time I saw the greatly anticipated third and final installment in the Back 2 the Future franchise, for example, the reels were loaded into the projector out of order. As the very subject of the movies is time travel, it took us, the confused audience, quite awhile to figure out what was happening. The theater finally offered a complete ordered showing of the movie following the complete disordered mix-up and we all got home very late that evening and thoroughly confused.

But what do the adventures of Marty and Doc have to do with self-help, the semi-cohesive theme of this blog?

We (the audience of the Select Theater in the summer of 1990) thought we were just watching a very confusing movie. "This is just how it is," we thought as we crunched our popcorn. But it wasn't the movie at all; it was the projector that was messed up. At the movies, as in life, we think we're seeing everything playing out in front of us just as it is, but it's really the projector that's running the whole show.

In the movie of our life, the projector is our mind and our thoughts are the lens through which we experience every emotion beamed onto the background of the world. What's really going to bake your noodle is the fact that the majority of craftsmanship of our projector lens is completed by the time we reach the sophisticated and informed age of 7*, honed by our interpretations of inputs we received from our families, our cultures, our backgrounds, and our experiences. The brain mostly operates in theta and alpha frequencies in these early years--the same as in hypnosis or deep meditation.

While your experiences before age 7 could have created a very positive view of money and healthy self-esteem that may be serving you well to this day, that is unfortunately not always the case. So if you saw your parents fighting over money just before they got divorced when you were 5, are you doomed to live a lonely, bankrupt life and have an adversarial relationship with money? Of course not! Though your lens was formed in those early years creating the foundation of your subconscious mind, you can make changes to it anytime you want to. In many cases, life does this for us as a new experience challenges an old belief that makes the old one less useful. 

But you can be the cause of changes, too--not just the effect. You can wipe down the lens. You can get a totally brand new one! You can buff out a scratch. You can swat the fly that keeps landing on it. The only trick is, you have to do this intentionally if you want to create an intentional result. The way you create intention is with your thoughts. And the shortcut to creating and believing the thoughts that you want is with a life coach.

And scene.

Are you are ready to change the movie on the screen, uplevel your life, and give your poor, painful, doomed thoughts the heave ho?! Let's work together and let's go! It would be an honor to be your coach! Click to go to my appointments page to schedule your free 20 minute consult call.

Every time you make a choice in life and decide how and when to execute that decision, you are being creative. You don't have to have a gallery showing or be a preeminent tap dancer to be creative; you are creating all the time--your thoughts and perceptions, your experiences. When we inject that innate creativity with our experiences, emotions, or some piece of our authentic selves, it becomes self-expression, a way of saying to the world "This is who I am. I am here. I matter."

• self-awareness: noticing what we are feeling and being able to name it
  
• mindfulness: noticing and identifying aspects of the external world and our bodies in the present moment 
• energetic release: the intentional catharsis of emotion through movement or other deliberate activity
  
• cognitive reappraisal: the ability to shift thoughts about a situation by simply changing the perspective from which it is viewed
  
• adaptability: resourceful problem solving and pivoting when a problem or blockage is perceived
  
• self-compassion: understanding that we are worthy of love and treating ourselves with care and gentleness in the face of perceived mistakes or failures
  
• emotional support: creating a robust and resourced, supportive "community," that may consist of yourself and/or others that you connect with